Real Talk

Words from an innocent bystander.

Attention K-Mart Shoppers

Kenyon Martin is having a tough time scoring more than 10 points a game this season. Granted the seven-year forward is coming off a knee-surgery plagued season last year, and has seen limited minutes this season, Martin is only averaging 8.8 ppg while seeing and average of 23.3 minutes per.

Martin has only gone over 10 points a handful of times this season including an explosion for 20 points against the struggling Miami Heat on Sunday.

His dedicated 15-foot jumper has completely vanished, and the 6-9 forward looks hesitant around the hoop. 

At least the former all-star is still good for at least two ferocious dunks or putbacks that we were used to circa his days with the Nets. You know the ones, that have him screaming murder and exposing his nipple while flayling uncontrolably after touching down.

Gotta love him for that.


December 6, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Monkey off their Back


Both the Miami Heat and Washington Wizards, posted victories last night defeating the Knicks and Hawks respectively. The two teams round out the bottom of the Southeast Division however, both with 1-5 records. The Heat and Wiz were playoff teams last year and the slow start thus far must have NBA critics scratching their heads.

 Granted, the Heat are still without playoff MVP, Dwayne Wade who is still potentially weeks away from returning from off season shoulder surgery, there is no excuse for their sluggish performance out the gate.

It seems without Wade, the Heat lack primary scoring and a sense of direction, as numbers are down for all Miami starters.

Newcomer Ricky Davis, has brought intensity to Miami, and secondary scoring, but the Heat’s regulars simply, aren’t getting the job done.

 The Self-proclaimed “Big Aristotle,” better known to us humans as Shaquille O’neal, has shown little signs that he is the same Shaq of old, despite reminding us that he is still the “baddest mutherf*cker in the world.”

When asked about current critisism that the Hall of Fame centre’s career was on the decline, Shaq responded optimistically, “Yeah, I’m getting older, but Kareem got older. Hakeem got older.”

“I don’t need earthlings’ respect. When it’s all said and done, my name will be there and it will be mentioned … unless you earthlings try to erase it.” 

Apparently we’ll just have to sit and wait for Shaq and the Wadeless Heat’s ship to lift off, let’ s just hope the Southeast division gives them enough time to get back on track, or else their ship might have sunk already. 

November 12, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

No Bull.

Somebody has got way to much time on their hands. And though the Kobe/Bulls trade talks are currently off, this still made my day.

November 9, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I found Jalen Rose!!


After weeks of speculation, between me and my comrads, I’ve tracked down Jalen Rose and no he’s not at the end of an NBA bench. He’s in the booth!!

Despite not officially retiring from the NBA, Rose has signed on with ESPN as an NBA analyst. He’ll be working alongside the likes of Greg Anthony, Tim Legler, Bill Walton, Stuart Scott (if that eye doesnt fall out) and Stephen A. Smith on NBA Shootaround. So instead of only seeing him in the fourth quater, we might actually see Jalen throughout an entire NBA telecast.

peep Jalen’s blog…if you have absolutely nothing better to do.

November 8, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What’s eating Gilbert….Arenas?


If Washington guard Gilbert Arenas spent as much time rehabilitating his knee as he did updating his popular Agent Zero: The Blog File, on, the Wizards may find a way to get out of this early season slump they’ve found themselves in.

Granted we are only a week into the season, and teams are still feeling themselves out, the Wizards are 0-3, and they pretty much have the same starting line-up and bench support from last year. So they shouldn’t have the luxury of using “new chemistry” as an excuse.

The Wizards suffered an emotional 94-82 loss in Orlando on Saturday and Arenas hasn’t seen action since.

He had his knee drained for the second time in as many weeks, after complaining he’s experiencing stiffness on the court. Arenas is yet to practice with the team this week.

“It feels like a 5-pound weight is on it,” he told reporters after the loss to the Magic.

Arenas had surgery on his right knee in the off-season to repair a torn MCL which he suffered in a late season matchup against Charlotte. The injury caused him to miss the playoffs last year, where the Wizards lost to the eventual Eastern Conference Champion, Cleveland Caveliers.

The ever vocal Arenas is never at a loss for words when it comes to his online blog, where Agent Zero can be found commenting on everything from, his childhood, to trade rumors, to how the Wizards were going to shut down the Celtics, during their marquee matchup last Friday in Boston. (The Celtics wound up blowing out Washington 103-83, Arenas finished with 21pts thanks to a dismal 5-19 shooting performance.)

It’s obvious the knee is bothering the all-star, as his numbers are down from last season. Despite hitting his first three jumpers in Orlando, Arenas finished the game shooting 5-15 from the field, and 0-3 from beyond the arc. For the season he’s only 1-17 from three-point land and shooting a ghastly 33 per cent overall.

Don’t get me wrong. Gil is my boy, and I do have the Wizards projected to finish top three in the east, but a little less time on the keyboard and a little more effort in the training room just might get things turned around for Arenas and the Wiz.

See Gil’s blog @

November 8, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Haters: Thought I’d remind y’all.

Kobe’s still a Laker….and leading the league in scoring.

League Scoring Leaders (as of Nov. 8th)
Kobe Bryant LAL 30.5
Tracy McGrady HOU 28.8
LeBron James CLE 27.6
Kevin Martin SAC 26.8
Richard Jefferson NJN 25.8

November 8, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Allen seeing green while fans remain Sleepless in Seattle.

Boston Celtics guard Ray Allen can finally rest easy. The over-achieving swingman who was cast away by the Seattle Supersonics on draft night, in favour of Texas standout Kevin Durant who they took second overall, has landed himself in a situation many NBA players could only dream of. After 11 seasons of dissapointing results and only four playoff appearances (one with the Sonics, the other three with the Bucks) the seven time all-star has joined a team that not only looks poised to go deep in the playoffs, and inserting himself in a starting line-up that is being compared to many of the great starting fives in Celtics history. Alongside longtime Celtic, Paul Pierce and newcomer Kevin Garnett, Boston and Allen’s future both look to be promising and secure.

Unfortunately, the same cant be said for Seattle. Despite, drafting one of the most promising rookies to come out of college since Melo and Flash in ’03, the Sonics are on the brink of losing their franchise. And with no support from commissioner Stern or the League. Seattle may end up changing zip codes as early as next year.

Though a departure seems imminent, the question remains who is to blame?

Despite fan support being down signifigantly the past few years in Seattle, it is difficult to point finger at the average ticketholder, who has to continuously witness a group of under-achievers get slautered night in and night out by western rivals, who out talent them often 3-1 (Just check the boxcore on last weeks Suns-Sonics home-opener at the Key).

True the Sonics had Ray-Ray and Rashard Lewis last year. But they both went down with injuries and after them, im pretty sure my mens league team could guard the Sonics reserve to a respectable halftime score.

The next suspect in question would have to be management. And this is a more realistic accusation. First its management who puts players on the floor and gives fans something to watch, and Lenny (Wilkens) and the boys upstairs have done nothing but sell, sell, sell when it comes to acquiring potential.

The last, and perhaps most obvious contributor to a potential move out of the “206” would have to be pinned on ownership. Rumors that Starbucks mogul and owner of the Sonics (and their affiliate WNBA team the Storm), Howard Schultz, will sell the franchise to an Oklahoma group of investors for over $350 million, have been circulating since July.

Allen commented on the situation with his previous employers to the Boston Globe on Monday.

“When the team was bought from the previous ownership they told us and everybody in the city that they sold it to a group that they thought would most likely keep the team in the city,” Allen said.

“Everybody thought that was some [garbage]. How is someone from Oklahoma City going to buy a team in Seattle who doesn’t have any ties [in Seattle] and has big money in Oklahoma? If things don’t go right, everybody’s craving for the team to move to Oklahoma City.

“I think the people of that city are so snake-bitten by previous ownership and now the new ownership.”

Looks like there’s no love loss between Allen and the Sonics…. Too bad Seattle fan’s cant apply for free agency.

November 8, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Heat up the Habachi and getcha popcorn ready!!


The new-look Boston Celtics will have “the Big Three” in the line-up tonight when they host Gilbert Arenas and the Washington Wizards in Beantown. The Celts made the most noise in the offseason acquiring Kevin Garnett via a blockbuster trade with the T-Wolves and signing swingman Ray Allen who became a free agent in June.  Together they form one of the most lethal threesomes in the league since Magic and the Lakeshow in the mid-eighties.

November 2, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Mateen Cleaves: Journeyman?


So my boy Mateen got cut by yet another NBA franchise on Thursday. Suprise Suprise. the two-time NCAA Big 10 player of the year, and starting point guard who led the Michigan State Spartans to the promise land in 2000, finds himself in a place that is becoming all to familiar for the seven year NBA vetaran. Out of a J-O-B.

I remember being on a high school basketball trip to Hawaii in December of 1999, and seeing the Sparts flexin their muscles at the beach one day, and seeing this guy, all 6’2″ 190 (give or take) pounds of him in person, thinking, this guys legit. I’m standing here next to a future NBA champ. Christ, even Coach Izzo named his son after him, and who in their right mind names a white kid Mateen, even if he is adopted. His game was flawless, he had court vision, deep range, speed, and from where i was standing, pecks that make my ex girlfriend look like a teenager. True Story.

Then came the NBA draft. Judgement day, I watched in anticipation, as bust after bust, including the likes of Marcus Fizer, Dermarr Johnson and Courtney Alexander, were taken until the “Flintsone,” native of Flint Michigan was selected 14th overall by his hometown Detroit Pistons. A match made in heaven…I thought. Hometown boy comin into a comfortable situation down the highway from where he torched college zone defenses in the road to the final four the year before. On top of that, the Pistons signed up and comer Chauncey Billups to run the point, so MC would have the opportunity to share minutes with C-Bill who was coming off career highs the year before with Minnesota.

Little did i know, being drafted to the Pistons was in fact the beginning of the end for my boy Mateen. Despite appearing in 78 games with Detroit, Teen, only started in eight, six of which were due to injuries to starting point CB1. He averaged 5.4ppg and a dissapointing 2.7 apg with just under two turnovers a game in just 16 mins average of playing time. To throw salt in the wound, when the Pistons missed the playoffs that spring, Cleaves became a forgotten man and the team placed him on waivers during the off-season.

Since being castaway from the Motor city worse than Tom Hanks and Fedex, Cleaves has earned the title no one earns or wants in the League. NBA Journeyman aka. Cant quite cut it on any roster, aka. your washed up pal, retire. With stints in Sacremento, Cleveland, Seattle, Toronto, the NBA’s Development league and now New Jersey, Cleaves will be in search of his 7th NBA team in as many years and i gotta say, Fred Flinstone aint gettin any younger. Cleaves turned 30  on September 7th, with today’s news, the vet may think of  making a quiet exit from the league, and take up coaching, im sure T to tha Izzo’s got a spot for him.                                       

November 2, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Notorious K.O.B.E.


It seems these days everyone and they’re dog has established a rumour about what jersey current Lakers guard Kobe Bryant will dawn come opening night on October 30th. Rumors to the Bulls, Dallas, San Antonio and even Denver have surfaced, thanks to my no good friends making up stories, but the truth is, KB24 wont be going anywhere until he says so.

Arguably the best player in the league, Bryant is under contract with the Lakers through 2008, however the nine time NBA allstar has the option to forego the last two years should he approve a trade from upper management. That however isn’t likely. Mavericks GM Mark Cuban had his Dancing with the Stars performance overshadowed when he was asked how much interest there was to bring Kobe to Dallas. When asked if he would be willing to trade superstar forward Dirk Nowitzki for the perenial guard, Cuban shot down the idea faster than Russ gets rejected at the club.

“If and when I talk to Jerry, I’ll make it clear that we’re not going to trade Dirk,” Cuban told the LA Times newspaper.

“And we’re not going to dismantle our team. Kobe’s one of the top players in the league. But without the right team around him, he’s in the same position he was in Los Angeles.”

 True story. And if the Lakers are able to trade Kobe anywhere else, theyre realistically going to have to give up a lot for a little. Cuban’s thinking is no doubt the same as the 28 other GM’s in the league. No one’s going to give up a the future of the franchise for Kobe.

Lets look at some options: Chicago Bulls: Kobe for Nocioni, Gordon/Duhon, Deng

Though this looks good on paper, its not gonna happen. Pax has already made it quite clear that he likes his baby Bulls right where they are, and despite the opportunity at getting Jordan re-incarnated back in Chicago, the Bulls have assembled a solid front and backcourt combination.

Dallas Maverics: Kobe for Dirk

Possibly the most realistic rumour to date, as per above we already know how Cuban feels, but realistically, can anyone imagine Kobe in a Dallas jersey, makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Denver Nuggets: Kobe for….everyone but AI and Melo This ones for Russell. I get rock hard everytime i picure the numbers 24, 15 and three walking onto the Pepsi Centre court together in powder blue.

So you optimists looking for Kobe to magically appear in any other jersey than the Lakers purple and gold, keep holding your breath. I don’t care how disgruntled my boy appears to be in the off season. When the circus music of the offseason stops, and the Bryants straps on those sexy Nike air Zooms for real its showtime in LALA land. My opinion

October 26, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment